What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a lions cage? dead.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car? dead.
Where did Lucy go after the explosion? everywhere.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but they all don't work
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at your doorstep? whatever his name is!
You know what makes me smile? the muscles in my face.
Friends are a lot like trees, because they fall down when you hit them with an axe multiple times.
God said to John To come forth and you will be granted internal life, but John came fifth and won a toaster.
I remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: how far do you think I could kick
this bucket?
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a
hill. What's black and white and laughing, the penguin that pushed him.
What are you get when you draw a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor.
Some people believe that becoming a vegetarian is a missed steak.
How do you get to whales in your car? You drive there.
What did Mozart and Beethoven turn into when they died? decomposers.
What's the difference between a writer and a park bench? a park bench can support a family.
How do you create holy water? you boil the hell out of it.
What do you call an empty jar of cheese whizz? Cheese was.
What do you call a group of killer whales playing music. An orca-stra
You know I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
I have a step ladder, I never knew my real ladder.
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store, does that make you an iwitness?
I hate jokes about German sausages because they are the wurst.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's OK he woke up.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said wii.
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a terribly dressed man on a bike? Attire.
Did you here about the Italian chef. He pasta way
How do you know an ant is a male or a female? they are all females because if they weren't, they'd be uncles.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
why could nobody enter the Gordon's house? because it was "gordoned" off.